


i will never be satisfied

by aegyopjms



Series: Hamilton x BTS [1]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, HAMILTON!BTS, Hamilton AU, M/M, Namjoon as Hamilton, a very very short fic, based on the song "satisfied", jennie as angelica, jeongguk as lafayette, jimin as laurens, jisoo as peggy, lisa as eliza, taehyung as mulligan, there's tad bits of homophobia in the air - you can smeLL iT, this is a drabble yay, yes this is in jimin's point of view, yoongi as burr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 05:44:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12358740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aegyopjms/pseuds/aegyopjms
Summary: a Hamilton au heavily based on the song 'Satisfied.'orJimin finally admits and accepts the fact that Lisa and Namjoon loved each other, and he knows that they know that they - especially Namjoon, will never be satisfied.





	i will never be satisfied

**Author's Note:**

> firstly, i want to give you a fair reminder before you get to read this - this is minjoon, not jennie and namjoon [ though hints of that couple will be seen by the denouement of the story ] 
> 
> secondly, this is based off of hamilton, like read the tags leemao
> 
> thirdly, THIS IS LAMS - MINJOON VERSION. i know i'm not a creative person, i swear - 
> 
> and lastly, i gladly recommend readers to listen to satisfied whilst reading the story.

            It was the night of December 14, 1780. The reception — and probably the fun part of the ritual for the newlywed couple, Kim Namjoon and Kim Lalisa. Nearing midnight, the night never seemed to end. The event was coming to an end, leaving salutations and kudos to the two.

            The sisters of Lisa's side were up next, with Jisoo still speaking at the podium, and with what the people have noticed with just her tone, she was really, really drunk — maybe she drank a lot of wine while the party was going on. From there, she finally ended her speech, leaving Jennie the last in line.

            And at that juncture, Jimin sighs, putting on his signature eyesmile and utters a chuckle.

            "Alright, alright — that's what I'm talking about!" He spoke up, with the people blending in with howls and indistinct laughter. With a glass of wine in his hand, he finally gained his composure and breathing.

            “Now, everyone, we shall welcome the last but not the least, our maid of honor — Kim Jennie!" He screams, gaining another round of applauses, and howls from the audience, and Jennie proceeds to stand right beside Jimin, muttering about certain things like, "Jesus, Jimin, that's flattering," and "Jiminie, that's so formal."

            Jimin just waved away from the lady, walking back to the table where the two lovebirds were of course, hugging and feeling each other’s warmth. Jeongguk and Taehyung were in their own dimension, ignoring the snickers and mutters from other people watching them in the distance.

            He was looking at the man, who was now in a suit, feeling proud of him — and at the same time, looking at the girl who was smiling warmly at the man, placing her head on his shoulder, hands interlaced. Namjoon smiled back, wrapping an arm around Lisa’s waist.

            Their smiles were twice as wide as his when he introduced Jennie for the speech. And he knows it pained to see them that way — if only he was the one right beside him, he would be damn happy to see the man curling his lips to a smile with his dimples upclose.

            The thought saddened him, and he knew he needed space.

            Jimin finally stood up, placing his glass at the table, leaving them alone saying that he'll “be at the balcony, grabbing some fresh air.” As he was walking away, he heard the words “From your sister, who is always by your side!” fading away in the distance, as the moon was nearing his line of vision.

            And at the sight of the moon, he looked down, with his hand resting in his left jaw, and placing his hands down, adjusting his arms to fit while he plops his face to rest on his chin, and looking up the moon again.

            Just as he was about to fantasize about how the night was amazing, and how to keep his thoughts calm, the memory of him of first how he explained that he knew his friend like he knew his own mind — until when Lisa went heart eyes for him immediately, it was like he was falling down the drain of a forgotten sink — darker and darker, deeper and deeper he sinked until he can see was pitch black.

            But the last thing he saw was his hands losing its color, and down he went.

            Now, he fell butt-first in a place — the place where the winter’s ball had happened. Yoongi and the other men were bedazzled with the women and men everywhere in the event. Namjoon slung his arm around Jimin’s neck, cheering along with Yoongi, and sadly he was overpowered by that topic.

            “Yeah. . . .ladies.” He replied, giving the latter a faux smile.

            And now he was now teleported to another place. The wood made it obvious to see that that place was the bar, where he first met Namjoon. Oh, how he’d remember that night — he wanted erase that memory off of his mind, for the rest of his days.

            The people were chatting and clinking their glasses to whatever mischief they were doing, whilst Yoongi was focused on the text of the book he was reading, it was something related of “common sense,” and was interrupted abruptly by the sound of the door kicked by of course, Park Jimin, barging in along with other two friends, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jeongguk. He was looking at a lit candle, it’s as if he placed a candle and lit, it’s as if he was lighting a dream that he can’t quite place.

            But as soon as he laid his eyes on the taller male, they were just feet apart, and they made eye contact. He would never, ever forget, the very first time he saw the Kim Namjoon's face.

            Jimin never felt the same, as he looked at him again with his admirable features. Especially his eyes —and oh boy, his dimples! He could understand that Namjoon was hungry — he hasn't even eaten 3 days ever since he sailed from the Caribbean. There were butterflies on his stomach, his heart palpitating in a fast pace.

            And when the latter finally decided to make a move by saying "Hi" curtsily, he immediately forgot his name in milliseconds — all he could mutter was "I love bread, I love bread, I love bread" endlessly, not even gathering all the courage that he can muster to hide his shy side.

            That moment set him on fire, Namjoon set every part of him on fire, not even reminding Jimin himself that this isn't even a game.

 

♡

 

            “You strike me, as a man who has never been satisfied,” Namjoon spoke up, breaking the awkward tension between the two men. A tinge of pink emerged on Jimin’s cheeks as he was continuing his sentence.

            “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean; you forget yourself,” Jimin replied. In his mind, he knew that he was satisfied, like, look, he’s at New York and he’s even dressed up like a nobleman.

            Or so he thought.

            “Ha, you’re like me — I’m never satisfied,” Namjoon responded, grabbing and admiring the foam of bubbles that are overflowing from the cup of beer. Did he just say that just to grab his attention or is he speaking the truth?

            “D-did I hear you say you’re not satisfied?” Jimin blurts, blushing embarrassingly and now, he’s mentally facepalming himself for that talk. He takes that sentence back.

            Another few moments of awkward silences later, he finally speaks up again.

            “Well, yeah, I’ve never been satisfied.” He said, his gaze piercing at the petite’s chocolate brown eyes.

            Think straight thoughts, Jimin thought, sighing very loudly, not even noticing that Namjoon was just right in front him.

            “Oh, shit- I’m sorry, I forgot to, uh, introduce m-myself—” He stammers, embarrassingly covering his face as gathers again the courage to speak again. He was too irresistible.

            “No, don’t cover your face, it’s beautiful, babyface.”

            Did he just call him, “babyface?”

            Well dear God, he would love to faint right now. He was too cute to handle. Irresistible, and cute. Not really his type, but man, this man was off the standard.

            Just as Namjoon would extend his arm to remove Jimin’s small hand from his face, he clears his throat and uncovers his face, blush completely brushed off.

            “My name is Park Jimin, fancy meeting you.” He gives the man his signature eyesmile.

            “Kim Namjoon,” Namjoon replied, extending his arm to shakes hand with the petite male.

            And oh man, here comes the butterflies on Jimin’s stomach. He’s falling in love with this man. Oh wait — Kim Namjoon’s destroying the man in front of him with the looks, and his voice. Oh, his voice. Although Jimin’s voice would set up a little higher, Namjoon’s voice was different among others; everytime he would speak, his voice goes an octave lower than Jimin’s usual voice when they talk.

            Damn, he’s fallen deep down to the abyss of Kim Namjoon.

            Jimin extended his arm to shake the latter’s hand, but suddenly interlaces their fingers. Once he noticed that their fingers were interlaced, he suddenly pulled his hand away and his blush was back again.

            “A-anyway, where do you live? Where’s your family from?” Jimin asked, causing Namjoon to widen his eyes and think of an excuse quickly. He settled the mug in his hand down, and ruffled his own blonde locks.

            “Unimportant—” He paused and proceeded to stand up. “—there’s a million things I haven’t done—” He then walked away, making two finger guns with his hands, winking at the smaller man. “—but just you wait, just you wait!”

            And from there, Jimin finally can express how he could feel. Alone in his thoughts, he blushed a tinge of pink, heart eyes oh so big for him. They were matching their wits — and this is what how it feels like? And, their wits were at the same level! Well, what’s with the catch?

            It’s the feeling of freedom, of seeing the light, and hell, he was expressing this like how Ben Franklin went out with a key and a kite — well, guess everyone can see that right?

            To him, their talk lasted like, forever — but it only lasted for two, or three minutes? Nonetheless, everything they said was affirmative, it was in total agreement — how he could just dance in the middle of the bar and turn Taehyung around as if he was Namjoon — because it felt as if it was a dream and a bit of a dance; a bit of a posture, and hell, it’s a bit of a stance!

            Well, he doesn’t care if he was coquettish, and the way he speaks was like he was flirting but he’d give him a chance, though one part of their conversation was weird; he asked about his family, well did you see how he answered?

            The only thing that Jimin could notice was that his hands were twitching, and he looked hesitant to answer. Well, he can assume that he’s family-less and he’s penniless, beyond the shadow of a doubt.

            He’s handsome, of course, who wouldn’t resist that beauty?

            Namjoon does have a peach fuzz but he sure as hell knows he can't even grow it.

            Now looking back at the same candle back at the ball, Jimin smiled at the candlelight, because that fire resembled that fire inside him that was growing bigger and bigger, until he saw the two figures staring at particularly, no one; one head over heels with him, and the other, feeling sad.

            Hell, it was clear of her facial expression and how she would feel; she was helpless, long story short.

            Jimin looked at the same direction the two were looking at and he couldn't entirely believe who they were looking at, because the three were falling for the same person — Kim Namjoon.

            As Lisa's world was suddenly glowing with bright and vivid shades of blue and pink, Jimin's slowly faded to a monochromatic grey, signalling that his world was slowly falling apart and the flame that was inside him started to black out.

            Was it too late to bring that fire back again? Guess what — it already is.

            As Jimin watched Jennie walked to Namjoon, he extended his hand for a while but then stopped because that will only hurt him more.

            There was no other choice but to watch them talk, for it is obvious that the sisters are the richest, they are loaded with money, for fuck's sake — and those two fell in love with Namjoon so he didn't know what to do to stop them.

            Tears welled Jimin's eyes, blurring his vision, not even noticing that Jeongguk was right behind him and telling him that they should take a seat. He tried his best to wipe his tears, but there was no use; Jeongguk already noticed he was crying.

            "Jiminie, are you alright? I've never seen you cry like this before," Jeongguk asked in a concerned tone.

            "No, no, I'm alright — I guess the lights are too bright, it left me crying." He lied, making a faux smile to persuade that he was telling the truth.

            Luckily, Jeongguk bought the answer hastily, and told Jimin to join Taehyung in staying to sit down at the tables. Jimin replied that he'll be fine standing here.

            But as soon as he saw Jennie guiding him to where Lisa was, his heart was slowly breaking into two. The vision of Namjoon was slowly vanishing in his sight.

            And from there, he suddenly found out three truths at the exact same time.

  
♡

 

                “Where are you taking me?” Namjoon asked in the distance, looking at the smaller girl’s arm snaking around his.

            “I’m about to change your life,” Jennie responded, with a hint of sadness in her voice, but at least she was able to keep her calm in the midst of the situation.

            “Then by all means, Ms. Kim – lead the way,” He ended his statement with a smile, causing the latter to make a fake smile.

            But on the other hand, Jimin couldn’t. He was all silent, the voice of Jeongguk only clear in his ears.

            Now, it was his turn to explain the truths that he found out at the same time.

            Number one, he was a man of “honor,” and his only job was to love someone and find someone who would love him regardless of gender.

            But the thing was contradicting the statement, was that his father wouldn’t allow gay men in his own mansion – let alone Jimin being one, and he’s still in that stage to whether he would come out to his parents, but he sure knows that his parents would kick him out of the family.

            So, he decides that he should find one for himself.

            Yes, he’s the oldest, and maybe the “smallest,” and yet, the gossip in New York City is insidious.

            So, Namjoon, penniless? Ha – that wouldn’t mean he’d want him any less; he’d still love him regardless, because part of him knows inside that he would love him too, another part of him saying that the latter would reject him, because he may be a homophobic person. And he knows it would worsen his anxiety in confessing his feelings toward him – the thought of that would make Jimin cry.

            “Lalisa Manoban – it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Lisa introduced herself, bowing clumsily at the man whom she’s falling in love with.

            And oh, would you look at that – Namjoon’s eyes gleamed at the sight of the blonde, and damn, he’s in love with the girl instantly.

            It was then that Jimin’s heart broke into two instantly. Soft, yet muffled sobs escaped Jimin’s lips – was this a dream?

            “Manoban?” Namjoon replied, giving the latter a raised eyebrow.

            “Yeah, she’s our youngest; adopted in the family.” Jennie replied, closing her eyes for a moment as she speaks.

            Looking at the redhead, or Lisa, Namjoon can say that he’s loved the looks of a lady, but a lady like her exceeded his standards.

            Her earrings just seemed to glow more and more until he can say that he was lured in.

            Jimin paused a second there.

            Number two, he knows that Namjoon was after Lisa, for of course, she was part of the Kim Sisters and it would elevate his status.

            He would have to be naïve to set that aside – and that was why Jennie decided to introduce him to Lisa, now that’s his bride!

            And when he says “Nice going, Jennie!” loud in his mind he meant that – because she was right, because he would never be satisfied.

            He would also guess the same thing, and he was right in the end. Another moment of lamenting and weeping was on its way to ruin Jimin’s thinking.

            “Uhm, thank you – for all your service.” Lisa broke the tension between the three.

            “Hah, no problem – if it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it would have been worth the wait,” He replied, down on one knee to press his lips against the girl’s hand.

            And that gesture left Lisa fuming like a tomato, while Jennie said that she’ll leave the two alone and have their moment as she bedazzles the room again.

            It was there that Jimin would broke down.

            Because number three, he knew his best friend like he knew his own mind – just like how Jennie knew Lisa as if she was her own mind! He knew that they would never find someone who was that loud-mouthed, determined and flirtatious man like the damn man he is. Besides, if he’d tell him that he loved him, _they’d_ be silently resigned, the second they found out about them that his heart was taken, they would say they are fine, but they were lying – in his imagination, the sisters would be disgusted for the acts of what they have done – and the worst case scenario was that if his family found out, they would be the most disgusted out of everyone.

            He would be kicked out of the Parks, labeled as a “disgrace” to the family, and he would grab the lowest reputation out of the citizens of New York – along with Namjoon.

 

♡

 

            But when Jimin goes to bed at night and thinks in the midst of 2 AM, he fantasizes about his eyes – oh how he helpless he looked at the sight of his eyes, romanticizing what would have happened if only Jennie didn’t introduce him to the younger sibling. The thought of it would just let him stand and look at how the moon was glowing deep into the night.

            He would think things like, _if only I won his heart back then, this wouldn’t have happened_ , and _it’s okay, I think marrying a girl would sound better to ease my senses._

            But all of it was too late – Lisa was now his wife and Namjoon was her groom, it felt okay for him. Well, part of him agreed.

            The other part didn’t agree, he wasn’t satisfied either.

            And now, he was teleported back to the ball, to where the reception was held, at the balcony, and of all places in which he would run like a klutz and grab his unfinished glass of wine.

            Jimin was now beside Jennie, screaming with her.

            “To the groom!” They screamed, walking to their newlywed couple.

            Jennie settled with Lisa, clutching her in for a hug. While Jimin slung an arm against his hyung, earning the latter a half-hearted yet sincere smile, causing his tears to overflow and fall down his cheeks yet again, blurring his vision- earning a “Jimin, are you okay?” from Namjoon.

            “From your best friend,” he said his salutations yet again to the groom, earning a smile from the latter as he lets go of him.

            “To your union - and the hope that you provide!” He raised his glass of wine to the audience, who were completely drunk, especially where Jeongguk and Taehyung were at it again, especially that they were in a public place.

            And he brings his last wish that they may always be satisfied as they would live together and be home in each other’s arms.

 

♡

 

            Jimin walked away from the two, hiding in the door on their entrance to the ball. He hugged his legs as he slumped down to reveal himself crying.

            As he walked away, before he could reveal himself infront of others, he thought that Jimin already knows that Lisa would be happy as his bride as she looked at him lovingly with her amber-like visage.

            His head then turned to Namjoon, causing him to avert his gaze because, he knows that he would never be satisfied.

            And as he neared the door, a bead of water falling down his cheek.

            From there, he knew that he would never be satisfied – and Jimin too, will never be satisfied.

            From there, he looked back at the two with a broken heart.

            “I-I’m helpless. . . . . . .” He muttered to himself, causing to let out a soft wail as the event ends with a clink, and people leaving the banquet hall.

**Author's Note:**

> so that's it, you've reached the end of this /sort of/ little drabble i've had in mind. i deeply apologize if this fic has a lot of plot holes lmao -- and i guess i'm not a lengthy person because i have school and exams are coming right away, so yeah.
> 
> for lisa's background, she was adopted by the kim family, making her one of the kim sisters - whew, i should've written a heavily based 'schuyler sisters' drabble before this gah my stupid brain :>
> 
> lmao i hope y'all didn't cry because i cried too
> 
> kudos and hits will forever be appreciated!!


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